Holy Sex

Sermon for Green Lake Church of Seventh-day Adventists

November 9, 2013

Text: Genesis One and Two.

Thursday evening I was sitting in Forza's coffee shop just down the street working on today's sermon. When I'm writing in a setting like that, whether I'm working on a sermon or an article or book, the world disappears. For long stretches, my computer screen and keyboard become the entire universe.

Well, on Thursday evening, at some point I returned to reality long enough to notice a really tall guy sitting a couple of feet away. Later I saw he had been joined by a tall woman. She had very short, black hair which showed off her beautiful, elegant neck. Later still, maybe ten minutes, maybe half an hour later, I heard him talking about a sister and then make some reference to other family members. At that point I didn't immediately focus back on my sermon. Instead I eavesdropped for a minute or two. I heard her reply by saying something about her family. Then she asked something further about his family. The conversation was easy, leisurely.

I thought, “first date.” Adam, meet Eve.

The Bible begins with two stories of creation. Chapter One is the story of religion. Chapter Two is the story of sex. And some of you thought the Bible was boring! :-) In both cases the stories make radical claims. The religious and sexual ideals presented in these two chapters have never been surpassed.

In Genesis One, God shapes the cosmos and life. The story climaxes in the creation of humans in God's image and God's double declaration of satisfaction. God announces he is satisfied—God looks at all of creation and says, “It is very good.” Then God demonstrates his satisfaction by keeping Sabbath.

In this vision, religion is pictured as resting with God—NOT placating God, not even pursuing God. On Sabbath we rest in God. We savor God's presence and smile just as God savors our presence and smile. God keeps us company and smiles on us whether or not we notice, whether or not we deliberately keep company with him. The fundamental religious vision of God here at the beginning of the Bible story is a God who is gracious, reliable, supportive, present.

Genesis Two begins again with a vision of a barren, empty void. “There were no plants, because there was no one to take care of them.” Genesis 2:5. There were no animals. No people. There was not even any rain. (This is a particularly important fact for my Seattle congregation!)

God steps into this bleak landscape, stoops to the earth and from the soil fashions a man. God carpets the land with vegetation and populates it with animals. The world begins pulsing with life. But the plants and animals are not the focus. They are merely the backdrop for the human story. The man we met at the beginning of the chapter wanders this lush, vibrant terrain. His initial fascination and engagement slowly turns into an aching loneliness. He sees pairs of animals but for himself he finds no partner.

God interrupts Adam's lonesome trekking. He puts the man under anesthesia, removes a rib, then from this rib magically creates a woman. Adam comes out of anesthesia, opens his eyes, and sees the most gorgeous, mesmerizing sight in the universe—Eve.

“At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. The man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

In this story, the goal of creation is romance. A man and a woman, brought together by God, enthralled with one another, united in an enduring union. Their connection is so profound, it is described as a new “thing.”

In chapter one, the last thing created was the Sabbath. In chapter two the last thing created is a couple.

Which highlights a profound truth: the purpose of creation is community.

These two chapters remind me of the “Two Great Commandments” we find in the New Testament. When Jesus was asked, “What is the greatest commandment?” he answered the question, but he also corrected the question. The first and greatest commandment is to love God with your entire being. But looking for a single commandment is a misplaced search. The greatest commandment is inseparably linked with the second greatest commandment: love your neighbor as yourself.

Genesis One and Two seem to answer the question: What is supreme purpose of life? Genesis One answers: enjoyment of the favor and presence of God. But we cannot live wisely in the light of that purpose alone. So Chapter Two says, the purpose of life is a relationally rich, enduring sexual union.

Authentic religion cannot be just about God. Not even about my relationship with God. Healthy religion shapes our beliefs about God. It offers practices that enhance our awareness of God and our appreciation of God. AND religion builds happy, healthy relationships and societies.

In recent years, this perspective has found interesting support in a wide variety of studies that show people are happier and healthier if they are married and attend church regularly. (Mere belief in God appears to confer no measurable benefits. Curiously, the states where conservative Christian beliefs are most prevalent—the so-called Bible belt of the South—are the places with the highest levels of divorce and other social dysfunction.)

Some years ago I was invited by the Psychology Department at Andrews University to give a series of lectures on sexuality. I had previously co-authored a small book on sex, but in preparation for these lectures to a bunch of psychology students and professors, I needed a more extensive bibliography. So I read books by marriage counselors, Buddhist authors, Christians, even a hedonist or two.

There was a stark contrast among the various perspectives. The Buddhist books were boring. I'm no expert on Buddhism, but as far as I can tell ecstasy and passion are not major themes in Buddhism. “Mindfulness” is not the first characteristic that comes to mind in describing sex.

The hedonistic author went the opposite direction. In his view, sex was reduced to a brief, intense biological moment. There was nothing of shared history. He knew nothing of intimacy that grows richer over time. His entire focus was on techniques to heighten the fleeting experience of rapture before the excitement faded and you were off to the next adventure.

The Buddhists authors had nothing interesting to say about passion and fire. The hedonist had nothing interesting to say about love.

I read a two or three books by secular marriage and sex counselors. It seemed to me that their advice was smart and practical. But in the books I read, the authors were writing advice to help other people achieve something they themselves had not accomplished. That is, these books assumed that the sweetest experience of sex would occur in a relationship that was life long, a relationship that was not interrupted by affairs or divorce. But every one of these authors had themselves been divorced. So I was a bit suspicious of their wisdom.

I had high hopes for the Christian books, but I was disappointed. They acknowledged that sex was part of God's creation plan. Sex is good. But the couple of books I read seemed to be more eloquent when they spoke of sexual failure and sexual sin than when they spoke of sexual bliss.

This makes sense historically because of the influence of Paul.

Finally, I picked up a couple of Jewish books. Here I found the wisest, sweetest, most convincing writing about sex. They built on the wisdom of Genesis One and Two.

When you bring together the two stories at the beginning of the Bible here's what you see:

It is obvious in Genesis that the sexual union between Adam and Eve was God's plan, God's desire, God's intention. There is not the slightest hint in Genesis that sex is sinful or dangerous. It was the glorious finale of the creative work of God.

In this sense Genesis One and Two parallel the stereotypical plot of a chick flick that ends with a passionate kiss. Or the more circumspect conclusion of a fairy tale—And they lived happily ever after. This is God's dream for humanity.

Genesis imagines sex as far more than mere moments of biological pleasure. Sex is imagined as part of romance, and more, as part of romance that endures and deepens and matures.

This wisdom is the back drop for the moral strictures surrounding sex found elsewhere in the Bible. The rules are rooted in a profound appreciation for the wonder and beauty of sexual intimacy.

The way Genesis presents sexual intimacy, it becomes a source of wisdom that goes way beyond marriage, way beyond the magic of romance. It offers wisdom for every relationship.

When Adam woke from his sleep and saw Eve, he recognized her as part of himself. This is the dream of romance. We find our “other half.” We find the who “completes us.” In the world of dreamy romance distinctions blur and union is the grand truth of life.

This romantic vision offers wisdom for life. We are called to recognize our essential connection with all people. We are all one flesh, children of one father. Classmates, co-workers, neighbors. Jesus expanded this radically and called us to recognize our kinship even with our enemies.

Adam and Eve were naked together and experienced no shame. Again, a beautiful picture of the dream of romance. When we are caught in the wonder and magic of romance, we think there is nothing that could separate us from our lover. We imagine we could tell them all, show them all, and still we would be perfectly secure in their love.

This dreamy romantic vision is a picture of God's dream for our life together as humans—that we would learn to live together in such a way that we can be completely open with one another and be unashamed.

Young people, keep the dreams of grand romance alive in your hearts. Do not be seduced by the promises of mere biological wonder. Reject the philosophies that attempt to separate sex from love. Embrace the disciplines that will lead into glorious, live-long romance.

God designed us as sexual beings. God wants you to experience the bliss and ecstasy of sex. It is also true that the highest sexual bliss is a perfect fusion of biology and soul. Sexual intimacy happens only in deep human relationship, and the richest relationships are enduring ones, yes, life-long ones. Don't let anything less capture your dreams.

Old people, take what you have learned from romance and apply that wisdom broadly. Just as good sex is a fusion of earthy biology and high-flown spirituality, so good Christianity is a fusion of the earthy and spiritual. We have ideas about God. We turn those ideas into wisdom by pouring our lives into concrete engagement in the world. Working to promote prosperity and health. Advocating and practicing reconciliation.

My mind returns to that couple in the coffee shop. They were beginning their romantic adventure by talking and listening. They were gently opening themselves to be known, hoping that as they were known to one another, they would be heard and embraced.

Similarly, we all are called to act as God's surrogates in hearing people's stories. Listening, understanding their dreams and their wounds. Working for their healing. And seeking healing ourselves. As we do this, shame will atrophy, social harmony will increase. We will find ourselves keeping company with God.