Parents and Kids

Sermon for North Hill Adventist Fellowship. Preliminary draft.
For July 14, 2012. Live streamed beginning about about 11:15 Pacific Time.

I got a call on Monday morning this week from my son Garrett. He told me about some business mail he was expecting to arrive at our house. He wanted me to keep my eyes open for it. Then we talked about his plans and how things were going in his pursuit a visa. Then we talked about an article I had written.

Later in the day, Shelley called. She had ordered a textbook for summer school at La Sierra University. It was supposed to have been delivered on Friday. What should she do? It was the second time there had been complications with this order. She needed the book immediately. She had checked the mail room at the university. It wasn't there. It wasn't at the dorm. What to do? We talked about a couple of options she could pursue. She called a little later. She had finally tracked it down. It had been delivered to the wrong department. I didn't actually do anything, but her phone call made me feel important.

Tuesday, I got a phone call from my eldest, Bonnie. She was getting ready to drive back home from Portland and she had a question about her truck. I'm not much of a mechanic, but this question was simple enough for me to have an opinion. She hung up with a plan of action. Again, I'm feeling pretty important.

The ultimate affirmation was a phone call from my daughter-in-law! She and Garrett were at some friends' house back in Michigan, and she was going to make desert biscuits for strawberry shortcake. Did I know my biscuit recipe off the top of my head?

The kids made my week. Their phone calls made me in turn, a business manager, a theologian, educational resource person, mechanic and baker. Not bad. No wonder I like my kids.

God is also pleased when humans interact with him in ways exhibit our appreciation of his wisdom, reliability, and affection.

Central to the message of the Bible are the twin truths: 1. God takes delight in humans as his children. 2. Humans find the richest, most satisfying life through respect for and confidence in God.

This is the written account of Adam's line. When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. . . . When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Seth. Genesis 5:1, 3.

When God created humanity, he made us in the image of God. When Adam had a son, the son was “in his image.” (Verse 4).

How is humanity related to God? Something like the relationship between parents and children.

This same idea is forcefully present in the teachings of Jesus. At the heart of his most famous sermon is a series of statements about God as Father.

Don't make a public show of your generosity. Because your Father in heaven sees all of your giving and he will pay you back.

Don't pray for public effect. Instead be confident that God sees your praying and will respond.

Don't think you have to amass large quantities of prayers. Be sure your Father in heaven already knows what you need. And he doesn't need his arm twisted.

Don't worry about food and clothes. Your father takes care of the birds and flowers. Count on it, he will take care of you.

Be kind to our enemies because that's how your father acts. When you love your enemies you are moving in harmony with the habits of your Father in heaven who is wildly generous toward those who don't deserve it.

These passages highlight the back and forth flow of the parent/child model. As a parent takes pleasure in doing good things for his children, so God takes pleasures in providing for his children. As a parent has expectations for his children, God has expectations for his children.

Notice this passage where the prophet Jeremiah is speaking on God's behalf:

"I thought to myself, 'I would love to treat you as my own children!' I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land— the finest possession in the world. I looked forward to your calling me 'Father,' and I wanted you never to turn from me.” Jer. 3:19

Do you hear a father talking to his son: “I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land.” This reminds me of Jesus' declaration to his disciples, “Fear not, little flock. It is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:32.

What would you give your kids, if you could? You would wipe away their debt. You would give them perfect health. Winsome personalities. You would make them smart. Holy. Gracious. Dependable. Affectionate. What wouldn't you give your kids if you could?

This is a picture of God. “I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land.”

And like a parent, God hopes for something back. “I looked forward to your calling me 'Father,' and I wanted you never to turn from me.” God has skin in this game. If he fails to win our allegiance, he is heart broken. If we cut off our relationship with God, it cuts him. We own a piece of God's heart that we cannot give back. We are inextricably, eternally intertwined with the happiness of God. Our failures wound him. If we reject him, he is cut to the core. Our triumphs make him glad.

When we enter into relationship with God, when we show him respect and affection, when we pay attention to what he says through the words of the prophets and through the Spirit and through the realms of nature and human experience, we bring him gladness. God hopes we will never turn from him.

When we embrace the disciplines that lead to well-being, God is pleased. When you decide to spend less so you can have more freedom in the management of your money. God cheers. When you make generosity part of your money management God is made proud by the wisdom of his son or daughter.

When you keep Sabbath—taking time for fellowship with God, time with family and with the family of God—God is pleased. It touches him. Just as a human father is touched when his grown children make room for him in their lives. Just as a human father is pleased when his grown children tend their own families' lives.

God is pleased when we call on him.

This connection of parent child relationships with the Divine-human relationship places a weighty responsibility on parents. And on aunts and uncles, teachers, and any other adult who touches the life of a young person.

Fathers you are a model for your children. They will read you back into God. They will interpret God through their life experience with you. So make it good.

If you want them to respect God, you must earn their respect. You cannot command it. How do you earn respect? Honesty. Holiness. Requiring more of yourself than you do of your children. And finally by showing respect for your children. We require our children to observe courtesy when we are talking to someone else. Don't interrupt. If it is absolutely essential, then at minimum, say, “Excuse me?”

If this is what we expect of our children—and it is proper to do so—it is the courtesy we will extend to them.

If we want our children to love God, we must win their love. It's pointless to command it.

If we want our children to believe God is generous, practice generosity. Not just with money. With our time, our affection, our approval.

Beware of the Laodicean syndrome. A Sabbath school teacher, life long church member, gracious, warm person, speaking of himself—he is wretched, miserable, poor, blind and naked. This is how God sees him. Really?

Let's go back to the passage in Jeremiah for a minute.

"I thought to myself, 'I would love to treat you as my own children!' I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land— the finest possession in the world. I looked forward to your calling me 'Father,' and I wanted you never to turn from me.” Jer. 3:19

In this passage Jeremiah is speaking to Israel on behalf of God. I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land. If you know the history of Israel, you know that God's relationship with Israel was complicated. God swings back and forth from passionate declarations of his love for Israel and outrage at their perverse behavior. Over and over, they reject him.

Still God claims them as his own. Through the prophets God talks as a grizzly mom about Israel's enemies. God is going to punish Israel's enemies because of what they have done to Israel. God says this even though he has also declared that he is going to allow those foreign nations to break Israel's defenses because of their rebellions against God. Then after the nations invaded Israel, God announces through the prophet: Whoa! I didn't mean for you to go that far!

The Bible is emphatic: God loves Israel. It is a love that stubborn and persistent. The question was never what did Israel have to do earn their place with God. It was rather how far could they go before God cut them off. The answer was it took repeated rejection for centuries and centuries before God turned from Israel as the primary carrier of his name on earth.

This gives courage to us. God is astonishingly patient. It gives us instruction for our own life with one another.

Parents be stubborn. Love like God. The more stubborn we are in our own love for our children, the more deeply we will be convinced of God's love for us.